[ The first few nudges don't produce much of a response, but being shaken fortunately does. Groggily K regains consciousness and peers at Savage with a bewildered expression. What in the world...? ]
I was.
[ And he takes in his surroundings as though he doesn't know quite where he is. He does, but his recollection of how he's ended up here is distressingly garbled in a way his memories normally couldn't be; they're not susceptible to the shortcomings associated with purely organic brains. There may be some kind of regular corruption or Trench-flavoured blood corruption at play here, perhaps... ]
I don't know what happened. [ He eventually admits. ] I suddenly felt so tired...
[ And he isn't sure whether it's just Trench being the cursed town that it is or if it may be related to needing proper maintenance, or maybe something else altogether. Giving Savage a vaguely apologetic look, he manages to get his feet back under him with some effort. The impromptu nap possibly helped take some of the edge off his exhaustion, but definitely didn't remedy it — he's having some trouble remaining upright. At least he didn't land in any road muck. He spares a moment to brush off and straighten his clothes. ]
Thanks for looking for me. [ He can't keep the surprise from his tone; he'd never expect that sort of — courtesy? Kindness? — from Savage, at least not directed at himself. And who knows how long he would've been out for if he hadn't been woken up. Maybe he needs to stick close to home for a while. ] Are you— feeling it too? Fatigued?
[Suddenly felt so tired? Savage made a point to roll his shoulders and stretch his back to see if there was even a hint of such effects for him, but no, he was not tired at all. Yes, he felt an undercurrent of anxiety being out in the open like this, something that had never bothered him much in human cities before.]
This was still not an ideal place to sleep. Even someone's bushes would be better as you'd be hidden partially.
[Even now, K seemed to have trouble being awake or at least acted so fatigued that he almost thought to set a hand to steady the droid. That would be strange of him, wouldn't it? It would presume a closeness or it would give the impression he might be on the verge of causing harm. Don't do it.]
You said you were coming. It's long been enough time to arrive, and it might have been messy if you had died or were damaged. One never knows what Trench will trying to kill them with each month.
[Finally, he shrugged.] No, I'm not tired.
[He gestured for K to follow him, as he would lead the rest of the way to his home where... well, it wasn't exactly safe to sleep there either but safer as far as he was concerned. Yet, his head was turned to watch K to see if the droid could even make the journey.
What would he do if K couldn't? Leave K? Carry K? Escort K home? Maybe he should have brought Rampage along to carry K. Too late for that now. He hadn't thought ahead that way.]
Yeah... That nap-time in the street wasn't exactly planned. [ Normally K's wry amusement at the suggestion would be more evident, but right now he mostly just sounds tired, as though even speaking is an effort. Because it is. He has to concentrate to ensure he doesn't mumble or slur his words. ] Would've rescheduled with you if I'd known it would get this bad.
[ Whatever "it" is, because it seems the fatigue might only be affecting him. Just another lovely day in Trench... ]
How have you been, anyway?
[ He trudges along after Savage fortunately without any further faceplanting, but even that relatively short distance has him weaving unsteadily on his feet by the time they reach the house. And he rather hates how vulnerable the whole ordeal makes him feel; being anything less than self-sufficient is such a foreign feeling to him that he doesn't really know what to do with it. He's always been the one helping others, the problem solver, the protector, the caretaker, and so rarely the one in need of being taken care of himself. By design, of course — a self-sufficient slave is more useful than those who aren't. ]
[As far as he was concerned, there was no postponing or turning back. The journey was shorter to come to his and Maul's house where K could find a space to sit down and gather himself again, though watching the droid sway and drag himself along made it clear that K was definitely going to sleep as soon as arriving.
Yet, he still looked surprised when someone asked him how he was doing, blinking and cocking his head in silence as he considered if the question was loaded or not. K didn't seem the type, but the itch of anxiety still caused him to question over and over, losing himself in that question for a few moments of the walk as he opened the fence for K to slump through.]
Fine, I guess. I died last month, but it was just a temporary arrangement. [Another minute as he remembered questions like that should be returned. Right?] How are you doing? Aside from tired suddenly.
[He opened the door to the house and shooed back the multiple deadly pets that crowded the entrance to get a taste, sniff or look at the newcomer. He also finally reached out to steady K so the droid could actually make it through the door so that he could close it. No one slept on the doorstep.]
You look like you need to lay down. You can use the bed. [K didn't have a particularly offensive scent that would upset the territorial nature of him or his brother.]
[ Oh hello murderous looking critters. It's quite the welcoming committee and K's grateful for the assistance, because he's hitting the point where he may just fall down if he doesn't sit down soon. There's an undeniable urge to try and pet the critters if they allow it, but he decides against it just in case any are in the habit of tearing off hands. They look like they could be. ]
Other than this inexplicable fatigue, I've been well. Productive. I made you something, that's why I wanted to come over. [ But rather than elaborating on the gift, he frowns and circles back around to something Savage said. ] How did you die?
[ And was it the result of something Maul caused, since he seems to perpetually invite strife wherever he goes? But K prudently keeps that thought to himself, not wanting to ruffle any proverbial feathers. It would be a poor way to repay the hospitality. Hospitality that apparently even extends to — offering him a bed? There's no hiding his surprise at that, and now it's his turn to take a long moment to formulate a response. ]
Are you... taking me to bed? [ That. Definitely sounded better in his head, before actually saying it. But too late to take it back. Nor will he turn down the offer when he's inevitably going to fall asleep again, and probably sooner rather than later; at least this time he can be comfortable. And what's more: ] A darkened bedroom would actually be an ideal location to demonstrate the device I made.
[ Which probably doesn't sound much better than the prior question, but it is what it is. He's too exhausted to be anything but oddly amused by the turn of events, and hopes his presence isn't going to cause any trouble with Maul. Not that he's ever had any direct conflict with Maul himself, but they also don't really know each other, either.
Having no real natural scent of his own means he tends to smell most like the soap and laundry detergent he uses, underlaid with maybe a vague hint of something electrical, so indeed, (hopefully) nothing strong enough to bother either Zabrak. Nor does he drool or snore, so he's about the least offensive bed guest there could be. ]
[Ruin the shepherd sized ball with massive mouth and tentacles hissed in delight to something new in the house and also made the best and worst guard dog in the world. Savage didn't allow much contact, figuring K might fold under all the tentacles and greeting bite that Ruin would give. Many of the others were his brother's pets and they lost interest quickly once there was little of interest about K's scent.
With the crowd of pets dispersing, he was already helping K towards the bedroom. There was other furniture, but why sleep there when a perfectly acceptable bed existed. Yet, he was surprised about the fact that something had been made for him.] Why would you make me something? [It was going to be a 'friends' thing, wasn't it?]
You look like you ware going to fall asleep at any moment, so the bed seemed appropriate. I can throw you back in the bushes if you'd prefer. [He didn't say that he would likely hang around in the room while K slept as that might be a bit weird, right? It was probably weird. Maybe he should mention it. Was he making a big deal then? Too little of a deal? How did androids feel about an alien resting, reading or meditating nearby?
He was exhausted just dealing with the gnawing anxiety, so he said nothing more as he took K to the bedroom that was rather large and the bed was big and cozy. It was also unmade but looking distinctly like a nest of blankets and sheets. He left the lights off, assuming it would need to be dark to examine the object K had made.]
I can turn on the light once you're finished if you want.
No thank you on the bush tossing, I'd far prefer the bed. If you really don't mind... I'll owe you.
[ Under normal circumstances, this impromptu sleepover would be more than a little weird. In part because he normally doesn't sleep much at all — doesn't require it. But of all the places he could pass out in, this certainly isn't the worst option, and he does fully intend to repay the debt he feels he'll owe Savage for inconveniencing him. The gift doesn't really count toward that.
Maybe he should've removed his shoes back at the door, he thinks, but he's trying to follow Savage's lead when it comes to his household customs. At least until they reach the bedroom. There he shrugs off his long coat that's a bit dusty from the road, and then does remove his shoes before taking a seat on the edge of the bed. The blanket nest is noted with a curious look. Maybe they're not in the habit of making the bed after use? But he doesn't dwell on it, focusing on the task at hand with what limited energy he still has and fishes the device out of his pocket. ]
It's all right. I can see in the dark. [ And he doesn't appear to have any issue seeing the device well enough to get it working. A quiet melodic chime signals startup, and then the walls and ceiling of the bedroom come alive with a holographic field of stars. K pulls himself more fully onto the bed and settles back comfortably into the blanket nest to get a better view while making a few adjustments, bringing different sections of the sky into closer focus. ]
This is Trench's sky, since it was easiest to start with. Other star maps can be downloaded onto it or manually programmed in. [ The projection begins to subtly animate, giving the appearance of twinkling stars, with the most noticeable movements being the occasional shooting stars that streak by. ] I thought, if you had any maps from your home universe... It's sort of a way to see it again. [ If that's something Savage would even want. ] And with how much space travel it's sounded like you've done, I thought you might like it.
[ K's uncertain how the gift will be received, and turns his head to watch a star-covered Savage from where he's lying on the bed. The blanket nest is so surprisingly cosy it's a miracle he's still conscious, but Savage's reaction is the most important part of all this and he doesn't want to miss it. ]
[Savage and Maul have slept in the bed fully clothed, half clothed and even naked so the state of one's dress didn't particularly matter to him. He didn't find it odd that K removed coat and shoes though, letting the droid do whatever was necessary to be comfortable for what he assumed would be a long power-down session. Did he have to plug K in? Doubtful, K seemed far more advanced than even their droids.
He too could see in the dark for the most part, and the glow of his eyes stood out in the darkness of the room. Yet, his eyes lifted from K's tinkering to the space above it where the star map suddenly appeared. He'd spent some time looking at Trench's night sky, wondering at the planets beyond the one they happened to be trapped on.
For the most part, Savage had spent a life trapped on Dathomir, leaving on short trips to learn what it was to pilot or on the whim of the Night Mother's order. It wasn't until a few years ago that he had gone on his space adventure, been trained to be a Sith, found his brother and served there, only to die planet-bound as expected. Still those days with his brother had been some of the best of his life, defining his potential that had been so badly curbed by the efforts of himself and the Nightsisters.
Space had always been oddly pretty. Even now, with the star map being explained, he reached out as if to touch the stars. He felt a sense of longing to travel the hyperspace lanes again. Despite himself, a low deep purr of pleasure emerged from his throat as he examined the projection.]
The only maps of my home would be in mine or my brother's minds. I don't think the Archive would have such extensive knowledge of our space maps. [His hand dropped back to his side.] You said your kind were used to explore and colonize planets across space. Do you miss space?
[ Oh — that's genuinely disappointing, Savage and Maul lacking any maps of their galaxy. Manually programming one in isn't exactly easy or uncomplicated, but could be done if they remember enough... At least his gift seems to be appreciated regardless, if he's correctly interpreting that curious purr.
Being asked about his feelings by Savage comes as a surprise, but it isn't a difficult question to answer. ]
From the time I discovered I'm capable of having wants, dreams, a purpose of my own making... I've wanted to explore space outside the shackles of slavery. As a free person, free to travel wherever I please. Leave humanity to rot. [ Even as exhausted as he is, there's a noticeable edge to his tone when he says the latter. His resentment of humanity is something he still wrestles with, knowing that if he's ever returned to his home universe he will once again be a slave. Maybe he could fight it, if he retains any memory of Deerington, of this place. Though he'd be on his own.
When he speaks again his tone is softer, almost wistful. ] I don't think I'll ever have the opportunity. But it's a nice dream.
[ The holographic sky is slowly rotating to simulate the passage of time. Trench's moon in miniature gradually enters its blood phase, casting the room in an eerie red glow. He wants to ask Savage the same question, but there's one far more important that's been on his mind since their last conversation. ]
Perhaps the Archives have such knowledge. I can look the next time I'm there, but star maps are generally held on drives for spacefaring ships.
[That didn't mean they didn't exist, but Savage definitely didn't have them. It would be good to see space again. He might have hated Dathomir, but sometimes he missed the stars and moons that were reflected in the night sky that was so plainly home.
He was left wondering if the Pthumerian's like Nevermore could give him such information.
Yet, he filed away the need to ask as K described exploration of space with freedom, and he eased himself down to sit on the mattress edge with his knees drawn to his chest where he could set his arms on them. His eyes were still on the star map, and he could never ever be described as wistful but something about how K described exploration rang true with him.]
It's a good want, you know. When I was young, I longed for such adventures too, but I had responsibilities and when it came time for me to go on my space adventure, it was less because I wanted to and more because it was expected of me. [He understood the resentment well; humans were good for taking things.] Humans will probably encroach though. They like to be everywhere.
[He turned his eyes on K.] Perhaps you can have that opportunity here some day?
[He blinked at the question, watching the android for a long quiet moment before he was turning his eyes back to the star map and watching the celestial bodies move around in the air above his head.]
Because it's true. On Dathomir, a male has two purposes: to serve and to breed if he's considered of good stock and blessed with certain strengths. Even then, we breed as a service to our species, not because we want to. [He sighed from his nose, his purr long gone with the new topic. He was silent for a good half a minute as he considered how much to divulge further. Anxiety plucked at him. Too much? Too little? Just enough?]
Mother Talzin, the leader of the Nightsisters who rule us, she... bore me after my brother. She was never unkind to me, but my strength and contributions were nothing compared to Maul's potential. I was her spare, a tool to be used in her plans as she saw fit, and she did call upon me when was an adult but to serve her plots and then find Maul for her. She and the clan cast a spell on me to make me as I am. [He tapped his temple lightly with a claw.] I can't be certain, but there's something to reminds me of my service. It's like a whisper on the wind... so I serve. It's the only reason I was born after all.
[Finally, he shrugged his shoulders.] And when I outlive my usefulness and loyalty, I'll be killed. That's what it is to be Nightbrother.
[ The possibility of space travel in Trench is something K has considered — has longed for. He's almost certain he possesses enough knowledge to construct a vessel for it, but the biggest obstacles remain finding enough materials and the Pthumerians, who only permit Sleepers to travel so far. He'd already discovered the apparent boundaries of the sky in his spinner. But what if this world might not always be so enclosed? Perhaps one day... ]
Having the opportunity here would be... incredible. [ His response is hushed, the last word almost a sigh. He's nearly afraid to entertain the idea, with how terribly fragile hope tends to be.
He's quiet as Savage provides so many of the missing pieces to the puzzle that is his identity and past, things K has long wondered about. The exact nature of Savage's forced servitude, and why he maintains the status quo of his old life even in a place where he could have relative freedom. A place where maybe he, too, could one day freely explore the stars, if he wanted to. Because it sort of sounded like he did. ]
This isn't Dathomir. [ His gaze drifts down from the ceiling, returning to Savage. ] There are no Nightsisters, and no guarantee you'll ever encounter any again. No guarantee you'll be returned to your home universe. It's entirely possible that — this could be it, that you could spend the rest of your life here.
[ ...Ah. But it isn't so simple for Savage, and now he understands why. The spell. Something beyond his control. K knows he'd been unbelievably fortunate, in far more ways than one, to have known a literal technology deity who'd freed him from the constraints of his own slavery. Someone he'd trusted to alter the most fundamental parts of himself, his programming... someone who'd taught him how unconditional love could truly be. He wishes suddenly that Savage could have known TB too. Even if they probably would've gotten along like water and oil, considering how prickly they both could be. The thought nearly has K smiling to himself, but it's fleeting as he sits up, with effort, in order to see Savage better. ]
If there was a way to silence that whisper... would you want to? [ Or does the spell itself prevent Savage from even being capable of desiring freedom, he wonders. ] Would you want to discover a new purpose for yourself, determine your own path?
What if I did get an opportunity to explore space here, and I invited you along. Would you want to come? Or... [ He falters. ] Does the spell make it so you only want to serve?
[He wasn't entirely convinced everything would come together for space faring travel, but he could hope that they could muster a good effort. From technology to maps to their keepers of this place, the odds were stacked against them. However, K's hope was a contagious thing, and he nodded his head where he sat.]
Perhaps in time. It's not like we have anything else to work towards, and death isn't permanent.
[He turned his head to rest his chin on his shoulder where he could watch K in the darkness of the room aside from the light cast by the stars. He knew this wasn't Dathomir; few would survive the planet's rigorous attempts to kill them anyway.]
In Deerington, there was a Nightsister, the one who claimed me and hated me more than any other. And the scarred up zealots, a former Sister is among them and only recently the last Sleeper Sister left. They are more common than one would think. [Which might have forced an apprehension to take too much in the way of 'good' opportunities that this place provided. At any moment, a Nightsister could insert herself and put him under their thumb.] To my universes end, it doesn't matter if I go back there. I died there, so all I can do is return to my spot as the Fanged God's warrior.
[He reached out when K sat up to stabilize the droid as he could see how much effort the act was. Maybe he was a little surprised that K was even functional, given how the droid had slept in the streets like it was nothing to be bothered about.
Yet, the question was important, one he had thought about many times. To remove the spell, he'd return to his prior state, and would he be as able to protect Maul?]
Perhaps, yes. I would still be me but smaller and less open to the Force, but I always had the gift just did what I could to develop it subtly.
[He watched K with a curiosity, tilting his head a little where it was still resting on his own shoulder.]
Well, space is best seen with others otherwise you could go mad with the endlessness of it. Besides, you don't know what's up there and if any other planets or moons have been colonized. I would go with you... as long as my brother is safe.
[ The existence of Nightsisters in Deerington and Trench is more startling than it probably should be. He'd just assumed there weren't any, because Savage isn't currently serving one as far as he knows— and he'd assumed wrong, apparently. So they still present an active threat. Both places have had a way of bringing Sleepers' worst fears to life along with assorted other horrors and subjugation, so it really shouldn't be surprising. Frowning, he tilts his head in acknowledgement of what Savage tells him. ]
I stand corrected. [ And he's clearly unhappy with that information. That Savage is also dead in his home universe is... not good, but somehow less surprising than the rest. K knows he's on a countdown to death, himself, should the Pthumerians ever force him back to his home universe. ]
Trench is all I really have left, too. [ It's a quiet admission that he doesn't dwell on. ] Maul wouldn't protect you from the Nightsisters? Or he'd accept being forced to serve them himself?
[ It's hard to imagine. Maybe someone needs to take care of the Nightsisters for the both of them. He's heard Maul speak of his Sith master on the public network before, but it isn't clear how that relates to the Nightsisters, or if it even does. But he's always had the impression that Maul's something of a special case.
The only thing more unexpected than Savage reaching to help steady him is the acceptance of his pipedream offer to explore space with him. He glances from Savage's hand to his face with raised eyebrows. ]
You would? [ For a moment he doesn't know what to say, as though he's struggling to process that. As exhausted as he is, it isn't far from the truth; his thoughts are a bit foggy. But still coherent. This isn't a conversation he's going to forget. ] Then you should steer clear of any Nightsisters — and maybe do something about that spell, so you'll have the freedom to. So you'll have freedom, period. And your brother has others here who care about him. They could keep him safe. [ Probably.
Or maybe Maul could also come on these hypothetical space adventures, but K would prefer to know him much better first before actually entertaining the idea. ]
Three Sisters have come, two have disappeared for now. They are a secretive lot, easy to slip away into the shadows. It's easy to assume they aren't around. [As much as he didn't want to discuss it, only Maul would know the extent of what the Nightsisters might represent. Perhaps it was his personal discomfort was just that, and no Nightsister would want to choose him. He had failed so many times....
He watched K for a long silent moment then nodded his head, issuing a low sound of understanding. So both of them had no where to go beyond this place.] Is it that you're dead or decommissioned where you're from?
[He snorted at the sheer notion that his brother would serve anyone anymore. That wasn't the case these days, and he suspected that Maul would rather die than be put under the thumb of another like that.] My brother... doesn't understand many of our traditions; he didn't grow to manhood on Dathomir like I did, and he was... special. He's always been the best of us. [He sighed from his nose, giving K's shoulder a strong pat.] He'd protect me to the best of his abilities, but he had a life here, a mate, friends... I'd rather deal with Nightsisters alone.
[It wasn't that hard of a decision even if it felt extremely random. His brother wanted him to find a life for himself, so if he wanted to go into space, why couldn't he just do that without too much explanation? Space had been the first place where he had felt freedom as a young man, so he would like to experience it again if it were possible. Even just once.]
I have no wish to be close to the Sisters, and the spell... I wouldn't know how to remove or alter it. [That might require a run in with a Nightsister to discuss it, since apparently death didn't remove it these days.] Maul's supposed to be safest with me... but that has probably changed here along with everything else.
If what I've seen of my future is true— [ K bows his head for a moment, a resigned look on his face. Every glimpse into his future that he's ever gotten plays out the same. The falling snow. Outside the memory lab. Within a few days of being returned to his home universe, he'll draw his final breath there, alone and unmourned. ] I'm living on borrowed time.
[ Can't escape fate. He subtly leans into the pat to his shoulder without even thinking; it's nice. Casual physical contact is rare for him these days, and he'd previously grown so accustomed to it that he misses it now. ]
That doesn't sound very fair to your brother, going it alone like that. Doesn't matter if he has other ties here. You're his brother. [ And that has to mean something, doesn't it? For all Maul's shortcomings, he seems very loyal from everything that K's seen. ] It's what I'd want if I were in his position, anyway... a chance to choose for myself, to protect someone I care about. Especially if there might not be a way to nullify the spell. I wonder if the Archives would have anything... [ And something occurs to him. ] Is he— even aware of the spell?
[ And more importantly, does he actually condone of his own brother being used in such a way, K wonders. Surely not...? ]
But not here. You can continue on even if it isn't your home world, yes? [If K did disappear, it would simply be a fact of Trench life; anyone could appear and return to the sea after all. He valued their conversations, so he likely would have a least a moment or two of missing K.
His fingers clenched on K's shoulder when the droid leaned into the contact, at first thinking that it was because K might just pitch right over in exhaustion. So he held his hand there longer than was strictly necessary, aware that K would just fall asleep at some point.
At least the stars above would be a good backdrop for such sleep. Maybe he'd even nap for a few minutes when the time seemed right.]
You shouldn't worry about Maul. He has a habit of nosing his way into matters of mine even when I'm trying to hide them from him. [They were extremely loyal to each other, but the Nightsisters were his demons, just as Sidious was his brother's demon. They could assist but in the end, they had to be the one to defeat the enemy to their freedom.] He doesn't fully understand their threat; they were almost all dead when he returned to Dathomir. Just as I can't understand what he endured with his Master, even if I can help in my own way.
[His eyes flick away from K and then back.] He is, but how much of the nuance of the command I don't know. It doesn't affect me in ways that go against what he wants. [After all, the spell made him extra loyal to his bloodline.] I don't even know what the spell does and doesn't do.
no subject
I was.
[ And he takes in his surroundings as though he doesn't know quite where he is. He does, but his recollection of how he's ended up here is distressingly garbled in a way his memories normally couldn't be; they're not susceptible to the shortcomings associated with purely organic brains. There may be some kind of regular corruption or Trench-flavoured blood corruption at play here, perhaps... ]
I don't know what happened. [ He eventually admits. ] I suddenly felt so tired...
[ And he isn't sure whether it's just Trench being the cursed town that it is or if it may be related to needing proper maintenance, or maybe something else altogether. Giving Savage a vaguely apologetic look, he manages to get his feet back under him with some effort. The impromptu nap possibly helped take some of the edge off his exhaustion, but definitely didn't remedy it — he's having some trouble remaining upright. At least he didn't land in any road muck. He spares a moment to brush off and straighten his clothes. ]
Thanks for looking for me. [ He can't keep the surprise from his tone; he'd never expect that sort of — courtesy? Kindness? — from Savage, at least not directed at himself. And who knows how long he would've been out for if he hadn't been woken up. Maybe he needs to stick close to home for a while. ] Are you— feeling it too? Fatigued?
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This was still not an ideal place to sleep. Even someone's bushes would be better as you'd be hidden partially.
[Even now, K seemed to have trouble being awake or at least acted so fatigued that he almost thought to set a hand to steady the droid. That would be strange of him, wouldn't it? It would presume a closeness or it would give the impression he might be on the verge of causing harm. Don't do it.]
You said you were coming. It's long been enough time to arrive, and it might have been messy if you had died or were damaged. One never knows what Trench will trying to kill them with each month.
[Finally, he shrugged.] No, I'm not tired.
[He gestured for K to follow him, as he would lead the rest of the way to his home where... well, it wasn't exactly safe to sleep there either but safer as far as he was concerned. Yet, his head was turned to watch K to see if the droid could even make the journey.
What would he do if K couldn't? Leave K? Carry K? Escort K home? Maybe he should have brought Rampage along to carry K. Too late for that now. He hadn't thought ahead that way.]
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[ Whatever "it" is, because it seems the fatigue might only be affecting him. Just another lovely day in Trench... ]
How have you been, anyway?
[ He trudges along after Savage fortunately without any further faceplanting, but even that relatively short distance has him weaving unsteadily on his feet by the time they reach the house. And he rather hates how vulnerable the whole ordeal makes him feel; being anything less than self-sufficient is such a foreign feeling to him that he doesn't really know what to do with it. He's always been the one helping others, the problem solver, the protector, the caretaker, and so rarely the one in need of being taken care of himself. By design, of course — a self-sufficient slave is more useful than those who aren't. ]
no subject
[As far as he was concerned, there was no postponing or turning back. The journey was shorter to come to his and Maul's house where K could find a space to sit down and gather himself again, though watching the droid sway and drag himself along made it clear that K was definitely going to sleep as soon as arriving.
Yet, he still looked surprised when someone asked him how he was doing, blinking and cocking his head in silence as he considered if the question was loaded or not. K didn't seem the type, but the itch of anxiety still caused him to question over and over, losing himself in that question for a few moments of the walk as he opened the fence for K to slump through.]
Fine, I guess. I died last month, but it was just a temporary arrangement. [Another minute as he remembered questions like that should be returned. Right?] How are you doing? Aside from tired suddenly.
[He opened the door to the house and shooed back the multiple deadly pets that crowded the entrance to get a taste, sniff or look at the newcomer. He also finally reached out to steady K so the droid could actually make it through the door so that he could close it. No one slept on the doorstep.]
You look like you need to lay down. You can use the bed. [K didn't have a particularly offensive scent that would upset the territorial nature of him or his brother.]
no subject
Other than this inexplicable fatigue, I've been well. Productive. I made you something, that's why I wanted to come over. [ But rather than elaborating on the gift, he frowns and circles back around to something Savage said. ] How did you die?
[ And was it the result of something Maul caused, since he seems to perpetually invite strife wherever he goes? But K prudently keeps that thought to himself, not wanting to ruffle any proverbial feathers. It would be a poor way to repay the hospitality. Hospitality that apparently even extends to — offering him a bed? There's no hiding his surprise at that, and now it's his turn to take a long moment to formulate a response. ]
Are you... taking me to bed? [ That. Definitely sounded better in his head, before actually saying it. But too late to take it back. Nor will he turn down the offer when he's inevitably going to fall asleep again, and probably sooner rather than later; at least this time he can be comfortable. And what's more: ] A darkened bedroom would actually be an ideal location to demonstrate the device I made.
[ Which probably doesn't sound much better than the prior question, but it is what it is. He's too exhausted to be anything but oddly amused by the turn of events, and hopes his presence isn't going to cause any trouble with Maul. Not that he's ever had any direct conflict with Maul himself, but they also don't really know each other, either.
Having no real natural scent of his own means he tends to smell most like the soap and laundry detergent he uses, underlaid with maybe a vague hint of something electrical, so indeed, (hopefully) nothing strong enough to bother either Zabrak. Nor does he drool or snore, so he's about the least offensive bed guest there could be. ]
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With the crowd of pets dispersing, he was already helping K towards the bedroom. There was other furniture, but why sleep there when a perfectly acceptable bed existed. Yet, he was surprised about the fact that something had been made for him.] Why would you make me something? [It was going to be a 'friends' thing, wasn't it?]
You look like you ware going to fall asleep at any moment, so the bed seemed appropriate. I can throw you back in the bushes if you'd prefer. [He didn't say that he would likely hang around in the room while K slept as that might be a bit weird, right? It was probably weird. Maybe he should mention it. Was he making a big deal then? Too little of a deal? How did androids feel about an alien resting, reading or meditating nearby?
He was exhausted just dealing with the gnawing anxiety, so he said nothing more as he took K to the bedroom that was rather large and the bed was big and cozy. It was also unmade but looking distinctly like a nest of blankets and sheets. He left the lights off, assuming it would need to be dark to examine the object K had made.]
I can turn on the light once you're finished if you want.
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[ Under normal circumstances, this impromptu sleepover would be more than a little weird. In part because he normally doesn't sleep much at all — doesn't require it. But of all the places he could pass out in, this certainly isn't the worst option, and he does fully intend to repay the debt he feels he'll owe Savage for inconveniencing him. The gift doesn't really count toward that.
Maybe he should've removed his shoes back at the door, he thinks, but he's trying to follow Savage's lead when it comes to his household customs. At least until they reach the bedroom. There he shrugs off his long coat that's a bit dusty from the road, and then does remove his shoes before taking a seat on the edge of the bed. The blanket nest is noted with a curious look. Maybe they're not in the habit of making the bed after use? But he doesn't dwell on it, focusing on the task at hand with what limited energy he still has and fishes the device out of his pocket. ]
It's all right. I can see in the dark. [ And he doesn't appear to have any issue seeing the device well enough to get it working. A quiet melodic chime signals startup, and then the walls and ceiling of the bedroom come alive with a holographic field of stars. K pulls himself more fully onto the bed and settles back comfortably into the blanket nest to get a better view while making a few adjustments, bringing different sections of the sky into closer focus. ]
This is Trench's sky, since it was easiest to start with. Other star maps can be downloaded onto it or manually programmed in. [ The projection begins to subtly animate, giving the appearance of twinkling stars, with the most noticeable movements being the occasional shooting stars that streak by. ] I thought, if you had any maps from your home universe... It's sort of a way to see it again. [ If that's something Savage would even want. ] And with how much space travel it's sounded like you've done, I thought you might like it.
[ K's uncertain how the gift will be received, and turns his head to watch a star-covered Savage from where he's lying on the bed. The blanket nest is so surprisingly cosy it's a miracle he's still conscious, but Savage's reaction is the most important part of all this and he doesn't want to miss it. ]
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He too could see in the dark for the most part, and the glow of his eyes stood out in the darkness of the room. Yet, his eyes lifted from K's tinkering to the space above it where the star map suddenly appeared. He'd spent some time looking at Trench's night sky, wondering at the planets beyond the one they happened to be trapped on.
For the most part, Savage had spent a life trapped on Dathomir, leaving on short trips to learn what it was to pilot or on the whim of the Night Mother's order. It wasn't until a few years ago that he had gone on his space adventure, been trained to be a Sith, found his brother and served there, only to die planet-bound as expected. Still those days with his brother had been some of the best of his life, defining his potential that had been so badly curbed by the efforts of himself and the Nightsisters.
Space had always been oddly pretty. Even now, with the star map being explained, he reached out as if to touch the stars. He felt a sense of longing to travel the hyperspace lanes again. Despite himself, a low deep purr of pleasure emerged from his throat as he examined the projection.]
The only maps of my home would be in mine or my brother's minds. I don't think the Archive would have such extensive knowledge of our space maps. [His hand dropped back to his side.] You said your kind were used to explore and colonize planets across space. Do you miss space?
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Being asked about his feelings by Savage comes as a surprise, but it isn't a difficult question to answer. ]
From the time I discovered I'm capable of having wants, dreams, a purpose of my own making... I've wanted to explore space outside the shackles of slavery. As a free person, free to travel wherever I please. Leave humanity to rot. [ Even as exhausted as he is, there's a noticeable edge to his tone when he says the latter. His resentment of humanity is something he still wrestles with, knowing that if he's ever returned to his home universe he will once again be a slave. Maybe he could fight it, if he retains any memory of Deerington, of this place. Though he'd be on his own.
When he speaks again his tone is softer, almost wistful. ] I don't think I'll ever have the opportunity. But it's a nice dream.
[ The holographic sky is slowly rotating to simulate the passage of time. Trench's moon in miniature gradually enters its blood phase, casting the room in an eerie red glow. He wants to ask Savage the same question, but there's one far more important that's been on his mind since their last conversation. ]
Why do you believe your only purpose is to serve?
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[That didn't mean they didn't exist, but Savage definitely didn't have them. It would be good to see space again. He might have hated Dathomir, but sometimes he missed the stars and moons that were reflected in the night sky that was so plainly home.
He was left wondering if the Pthumerian's like Nevermore could give him such information.
Yet, he filed away the need to ask as K described exploration of space with freedom, and he eased himself down to sit on the mattress edge with his knees drawn to his chest where he could set his arms on them. His eyes were still on the star map, and he could never ever be described as wistful but something about how K described exploration rang true with him.]
It's a good want, you know. When I was young, I longed for such adventures too, but I had responsibilities and when it came time for me to go on my space adventure, it was less because I wanted to and more because it was expected of me. [He understood the resentment well; humans were good for taking things.] Humans will probably encroach though. They like to be everywhere.
[He turned his eyes on K.] Perhaps you can have that opportunity here some day?
[He blinked at the question, watching the android for a long quiet moment before he was turning his eyes back to the star map and watching the celestial bodies move around in the air above his head.]
Because it's true. On Dathomir, a male has two purposes: to serve and to breed if he's considered of good stock and blessed with certain strengths. Even then, we breed as a service to our species, not because we want to. [He sighed from his nose, his purr long gone with the new topic. He was silent for a good half a minute as he considered how much to divulge further. Anxiety plucked at him. Too much? Too little? Just enough?]
Mother Talzin, the leader of the Nightsisters who rule us, she... bore me after my brother. She was never unkind to me, but my strength and contributions were nothing compared to Maul's potential. I was her spare, a tool to be used in her plans as she saw fit, and she did call upon me when was an adult but to serve her plots and then find Maul for her. She and the clan cast a spell on me to make me as I am. [He tapped his temple lightly with a claw.] I can't be certain, but there's something to reminds me of my service. It's like a whisper on the wind... so I serve. It's the only reason I was born after all.
[Finally, he shrugged his shoulders.] And when I outlive my usefulness and loyalty, I'll be killed. That's what it is to be Nightbrother.
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Having the opportunity here would be... incredible. [ His response is hushed, the last word almost a sigh. He's nearly afraid to entertain the idea, with how terribly fragile hope tends to be.
He's quiet as Savage provides so many of the missing pieces to the puzzle that is his identity and past, things K has long wondered about. The exact nature of Savage's forced servitude, and why he maintains the status quo of his old life even in a place where he could have relative freedom. A place where maybe he, too, could one day freely explore the stars, if he wanted to. Because it sort of sounded like he did. ]
This isn't Dathomir. [ His gaze drifts down from the ceiling, returning to Savage. ] There are no Nightsisters, and no guarantee you'll ever encounter any again. No guarantee you'll be returned to your home universe. It's entirely possible that — this could be it, that you could spend the rest of your life here.
[ ...Ah. But it isn't so simple for Savage, and now he understands why. The spell. Something beyond his control. K knows he'd been unbelievably fortunate, in far more ways than one, to have known a literal technology deity who'd freed him from the constraints of his own slavery. Someone he'd trusted to alter the most fundamental parts of himself, his programming... someone who'd taught him how unconditional love could truly be. He wishes suddenly that Savage could have known TB too. Even if they probably would've gotten along like water and oil, considering how prickly they both could be. The thought nearly has K smiling to himself, but it's fleeting as he sits up, with effort, in order to see Savage better. ]
If there was a way to silence that whisper... would you want to? [ Or does the spell itself prevent Savage from even being capable of desiring freedom, he wonders. ] Would you want to discover a new purpose for yourself, determine your own path?
What if I did get an opportunity to explore space here, and I invited you along. Would you want to come? Or... [ He falters. ] Does the spell make it so you only want to serve?
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Perhaps in time. It's not like we have anything else to work towards, and death isn't permanent.
[He turned his head to rest his chin on his shoulder where he could watch K in the darkness of the room aside from the light cast by the stars. He knew this wasn't Dathomir; few would survive the planet's rigorous attempts to kill them anyway.]
In Deerington, there was a Nightsister, the one who claimed me and hated me more than any other. And the scarred up zealots, a former Sister is among them and only recently the last Sleeper Sister left. They are more common than one would think. [Which might have forced an apprehension to take too much in the way of 'good' opportunities that this place provided. At any moment, a Nightsister could insert herself and put him under their thumb.] To my universes end, it doesn't matter if I go back there. I died there, so all I can do is return to my spot as the Fanged God's warrior.
[He reached out when K sat up to stabilize the droid as he could see how much effort the act was. Maybe he was a little surprised that K was even functional, given how the droid had slept in the streets like it was nothing to be bothered about.
Yet, the question was important, one he had thought about many times. To remove the spell, he'd return to his prior state, and would he be as able to protect Maul?]
Perhaps, yes. I would still be me but smaller and less open to the Force, but I always had the gift just did what I could to develop it subtly.
[He watched K with a curiosity, tilting his head a little where it was still resting on his own shoulder.]
Well, space is best seen with others otherwise you could go mad with the endlessness of it. Besides, you don't know what's up there and if any other planets or moons have been colonized. I would go with you... as long as my brother is safe.
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I stand corrected. [ And he's clearly unhappy with that information. That Savage is also dead in his home universe is... not good, but somehow less surprising than the rest. K knows he's on a countdown to death, himself, should the Pthumerians ever force him back to his home universe. ]
Trench is all I really have left, too. [ It's a quiet admission that he doesn't dwell on. ] Maul wouldn't protect you from the Nightsisters? Or he'd accept being forced to serve them himself?
[ It's hard to imagine. Maybe someone needs to take care of the Nightsisters for the both of them. He's heard Maul speak of his Sith master on the public network before, but it isn't clear how that relates to the Nightsisters, or if it even does. But he's always had the impression that Maul's something of a special case.
The only thing more unexpected than Savage reaching to help steady him is the acceptance of his pipedream offer to explore space with him. He glances from Savage's hand to his face with raised eyebrows. ]
You would? [ For a moment he doesn't know what to say, as though he's struggling to process that. As exhausted as he is, it isn't far from the truth; his thoughts are a bit foggy. But still coherent. This isn't a conversation he's going to forget. ] Then you should steer clear of any Nightsisters — and maybe do something about that spell, so you'll have the freedom to. So you'll have freedom, period. And your brother has others here who care about him. They could keep him safe. [ Probably.
Or maybe Maul could also come on these hypothetical space adventures, but K would prefer to know him much better first before actually entertaining the idea. ]
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He watched K for a long silent moment then nodded his head, issuing a low sound of understanding. So both of them had no where to go beyond this place.] Is it that you're dead or decommissioned where you're from?
[He snorted at the sheer notion that his brother would serve anyone anymore. That wasn't the case these days, and he suspected that Maul would rather die than be put under the thumb of another like that.] My brother... doesn't understand many of our traditions; he didn't grow to manhood on Dathomir like I did, and he was... special. He's always been the best of us. [He sighed from his nose, giving K's shoulder a strong pat.] He'd protect me to the best of his abilities, but he had a life here, a mate, friends... I'd rather deal with Nightsisters alone.
[It wasn't that hard of a decision even if it felt extremely random. His brother wanted him to find a life for himself, so if he wanted to go into space, why couldn't he just do that without too much explanation? Space had been the first place where he had felt freedom as a young man, so he would like to experience it again if it were possible. Even just once.]
I have no wish to be close to the Sisters, and the spell... I wouldn't know how to remove or alter it. [That might require a run in with a Nightsister to discuss it, since apparently death didn't remove it these days.] Maul's supposed to be safest with me... but that has probably changed here along with everything else.
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[ Can't escape fate. He subtly leans into the pat to his shoulder without even thinking; it's nice. Casual physical contact is rare for him these days, and he'd previously grown so accustomed to it that he misses it now. ]
That doesn't sound very fair to your brother, going it alone like that. Doesn't matter if he has other ties here. You're his brother. [ And that has to mean something, doesn't it? For all Maul's shortcomings, he seems very loyal from everything that K's seen. ] It's what I'd want if I were in his position, anyway... a chance to choose for myself, to protect someone I care about. Especially if there might not be a way to nullify the spell. I wonder if the Archives would have anything... [ And something occurs to him. ] Is he— even aware of the spell?
[ And more importantly, does he actually condone of his own brother being used in such a way, K wonders. Surely not...? ]
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His fingers clenched on K's shoulder when the droid leaned into the contact, at first thinking that it was because K might just pitch right over in exhaustion. So he held his hand there longer than was strictly necessary, aware that K would just fall asleep at some point.
At least the stars above would be a good backdrop for such sleep. Maybe he'd even nap for a few minutes when the time seemed right.]
You shouldn't worry about Maul. He has a habit of nosing his way into matters of mine even when I'm trying to hide them from him. [They were extremely loyal to each other, but the Nightsisters were his demons, just as Sidious was his brother's demon. They could assist but in the end, they had to be the one to defeat the enemy to their freedom.] He doesn't fully understand their threat; they were almost all dead when he returned to Dathomir. Just as I can't understand what he endured with his Master, even if I can help in my own way.
[His eyes flick away from K and then back.] He is, but how much of the nuance of the command I don't know. It doesn't affect me in ways that go against what he wants. [After all, the spell made him extra loyal to his bloodline.] I don't even know what the spell does and doesn't do.