Inbox (Deer Country)

[opress]

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[obeir]

[ K suppresses a cheeky urge to respond with I meant your upper head. Which is for the best when Savage follows up with a mention of Maul petting him, too. Narrowly dodged that awkwardness.

But it's probably a good sign that he's able to make lighthearted jokes about Dirk and Savage's prior arrangement, even if only within the privacy of his own mind. Though the reminder of what he's lost also leaves a hollow ache in its wake that's hard to ignore. In moments like this, it's a shame alcohol doesn't affect him. ]

Then consider me your guide. You'll have to come by more often, sounds like you have a lifetime of sobriety to make up for. Though plenty of virgin drinks are good, too. [ And just in case the terminology doesn't translate well across different universes— ] Non-alcoholic drinks, that is.

[ Then Savage is rising from his seat, and leaning entirely across the bar and—... Baffled, K at first sort of braces himself, not even knowing what to expect. And despite seeing it coming, being on the receiving end of a surprisingly non-violent headbutt catches him off guard, his amused confusion only growing with the nuzzle. Oh. Huh. The affection behind the gesture is unmistakable, and there's not even the excuse of Savage being drunk yet.

K isn't sure that it was an invitation, but... it wasn't not an invitation? After staring in silence for a few seconds, he eventually leans over the bar himself as Savage tries the drink. ]

I'm glad it's to your taste. And for the record, you'd be invited even if you weren't familiar with space travel. Is this okay—? [ Reaching up with one hand, he touches his fingertips to Savage's head a bit below where his horns start, and if there's no protest, there will be some careful petting happening. Being a Coldblood renders K cool to the touch, but not startlingly so thanks to the heat of the nearby lit fireplace. ]

[opress]

[The mention of Dirk didn't bother him much, if at all. It had been a good and freeing introduction back into the intimacy game, but he hadn't thought it would last long. Loose bonds were what he was used to unless it was his brothers, and Dirk leaving was a shame but again no unexpected. Someone like that was too restless to stay in one place long as an adult.

He watched K, sensing there might have been a comment coming his way but it never manifested. If anything, there was a moment where he thought a shadow of sadness was there? No, surely not... and yet, the idea itself nudged at a very, very rare sympathetic inkling.]

That sounds like you're encouraging me to come and visit you more often. You aren't growing attached, are you? [He knew that droids in their galaxy could attach themselves to humans, but he'd never experienced it. K was far more advanced, so it seemed highly plausible. Except him of all people?] You've already taken what little virginity I have left with this drink. I'd be willing to try others.

[For his part, the affection had come and gone as easily as any other action, which was odd. He was as standoffish as most Zabrak of Dathomir, but he admitted that had felt good. It warmed him as much as the alcohol in his belly and even seemed to relax some of the tension out of his shoulders.]

But being useful is how I contribute. Nothing is free unless you give something in return or just take it. [He watched K over the rim of his glass, and he inclined his head towards the touch. His eyes half closed in pleasure at the contact, and he issued a short burst of a purr before he was taking another sip of his drink. He wasn't interested in nursing it like the others.]

Are you lonely?

[survivalthroughhate]

[There was a lot of warmth and love infused into the memory. Maul kept ones like this close to hearts because they were the only source of happiness he had that wasn’t tainted with the presence of his master in them. That had been the best time of Maul’s life, living in his early years with his family in innocence and happiness. After that there had been nothing but darkness and pain for the rest of his life.

When he felt Savage reaching out through the bond, not quite with as much skill or finesse as Maul himself did, he agreed to let him into his own mind and took down any remaining barriers between them. He wasn’t sure what Savage wanted to show him but he trusted his brother implicitly.

So he let Savage into his mind. It was dark, filled with fury, old pain, and his iron will. All of his emotions were intense, felt at full force at all times. There was the sense too of being put back together after having been shattered. While his mind was repaired, Savage would still be able to feel where the cracks had been and the sensation of having been repaired by the green ichor of Nightsister magick. He let himself remain calm as he waited for Savage to show him what he wanted to.]

[survivalthroughhate]

I can see why they would find such drama amusing.

[Considering Maul himself thrived off of drama, it made sense that the Pthumerians would also be all too pleased at watching all the little soap operas playing out amongst the Sleepers.

He quickly gathered up all the supplies that were needed and returned. He seemed very enthusiastic about this idea like he hadn’t felt about most things in a good long while. But this bond was something that was important to him and so he was glad to organize the ritual that would seal it in place.

Hmmm, he hadn’t considered the idea that his brother’s blood was more smoke than substance. But as usual Maul had an idea of a plan to get over that hurdle.]

If we gather it into a closed container, it might eventually condense onto the surface of it the same way steam will eventually turn into water when it keeps gathering upon a solid surface.

[obeir]

If what I've seen of my future is true— [ K bows his head for a moment, a resigned look on his face. Every glimpse into his future that he's ever gotten plays out the same. The falling snow. Outside the memory lab. Within a few days of being returned to his home universe, he'll draw his final breath there, alone and unmourned. ] I'm living on borrowed time.

[ Can't escape fate. He subtly leans into the pat to his shoulder without even thinking; it's nice. Casual physical contact is rare for him these days, and he'd previously grown so accustomed to it that he misses it now. ]

That doesn't sound very fair to your brother, going it alone like that. Doesn't matter if he has other ties here. You're his brother. [ And that has to mean something, doesn't it? For all Maul's shortcomings, he seems very loyal from everything that K's seen. ] It's what I'd want if I were in his position, anyway... a chance to choose for myself, to protect someone I care about. Especially if there might not be a way to nullify the spell. I wonder if the Archives would have anything... [ And something occurs to him. ] Is he— even aware of the spell?

[ And more importantly, does he actually condone of his own brother being used in such a way, K wonders. Surely not...? ]

[opress]

But not here. You can continue on even if it isn't your home world, yes? [If K did disappear, it would simply be a fact of Trench life; anyone could appear and return to the sea after all. He valued their conversations, so he likely would have a least a moment or two of missing K.

His fingers clenched on K's shoulder when the droid leaned into the contact, at first thinking that it was because K might just pitch right over in exhaustion. So he held his hand there longer than was strictly necessary, aware that K would just fall asleep at some point.

At least the stars above would be a good backdrop for such sleep. Maybe he'd even nap for a few minutes when the time seemed right.]

You shouldn't worry about Maul. He has a habit of nosing his way into matters of mine even when I'm trying to hide them from him. [They were extremely loyal to each other, but the Nightsisters were his demons, just as Sidious was his brother's demon. They could assist but in the end, they had to be the one to defeat the enemy to their freedom.] He doesn't fully understand their threat; they were almost all dead when he returned to Dathomir. Just as I can't understand what he endured with his Master, even if I can help in my own way.

[His eyes flick away from K and then back.] He is, but how much of the nuance of the command I don't know. It doesn't affect me in ways that go against what he wants. [After all, the spell made him extra loyal to his bloodline.] I don't even know what the spell does and doesn't do.

[obeir]

Maybe. You say "attached" like it's a dirty word. [ His tone is mildly teasing. This is probably a good time to reiterate what altruism is, and that not everything carries a cost, but he's not really up for defending his position at the moment. Running a bit low on optimism.

But at least his impulsive decision pays off, with Savage not seeming to mind the touch. Even enjoying it? It has K smiling a little to himself, his touch becoming less hesitant as he pets Savage in earnest, even curiously touching a horn or two. For trolls and other horned species they often seem to be an erogenous zone, from what he's heard, so he's careful about it.

Coming from anyone else that might sound like a loaded question. He takes it at face value, considering his response for a long moment. There's a polite brush-off answer and then there's the truth, which is what he opts for. ]

I think... I'm easy to leave. [ His spouse. Boyfriend. Closest friends. Connections that he'd hoped would last, that gave him a reason beyond base survival to look forward to the future. All gone without so much as a goodbye. And if he stopped reaching out to the newer connections he's been making, he thinks they'd soon forget about him as well. Probably it's for the best, so he won't one day leave anyone behind feeling the way that he does now. ]

Loneliness is inevitable, I guess. How about you? [ Recalling his conversation with Maul, he wonders: ] Is your brother's company really all you need?

[opress]

Attachment is not something we are usually allowed; it can be a detriment to our lives. On Dathomir, we were attached enough to work together well but everyone was a potential rival at the same time. [He shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal. They could be friendly with each other, but they were hardly ever friends with each other. Other Nightbrothers were there to learn from one way or another, though he knew some attached strongly.] I had my little brother who I was attached to. A handful of Nightbrothers paired off and seemed attached enough.

[There was also the Sith teachings that attachments would be destroyed at some point. He hadn't been immersed enough in the teachings to know much about that kind of doctrine. He was an assassin and his skills had to be developed hard and fast to make him useful to his first Master. He'd been told the teachings little by little, but his education in that regard was stunted. He and Maul were bonded, but it seemed reasonable Sith of old also had those they cared about and coveted.

He tipped his head and purred at the affection to his head and horned. The bases were where it felt the best for them, since his horns were weapons to be used in combat. His eyes half closed as he savoured the contact; it had been awhile it felt like.

Yet, he tilted his head more so he could watch K with one eye, considering the statement. He didn't know a lot of K's life or relationships - aside from Dirk in passing - but it seemed the kind of statement that came from someone desiring connection but it not sticking around long.] Are you certain it's you? Or could it be that those you associate with have a fleeting loyalty or the situation forces you apart from them?

[He lifted his head and took a sip from the galaxy drink that K had supplied him, watching the droid over the rim of the glass.] Loneliness is part of being alive. If we can't be content to be with ourselves, it will consume us. [He shrugged his shoulders.] My brother doesn't think so, and my brother will weaponize a situation to get what he wants out of it. He means well in his own way, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's plotting and vetting people who could be a potential mate for me.

[obeir]

...So don't get too attached to you. Got it. [ K notes with some humour in his voice. He's pretty sure that's not actually what Savage was conveying with that information, but a part of him does wonder. With the way Savage is purring and leaning into the petting and clearly doesn't seem to mind being touched in such a familiar manner, if he is trying to warn K off, he's not doing a very convincing job of it. ] You had a younger brother. [ Past tense, which has him treading more carefully than he otherwise would. And presumably related through blood, since the "night" prefix is notably absent. ] Did he ever travel with you and Maul?

[ He'd indulged in some uncharacteristic self-pity with his comment about being easy to leave, and he knows it, so he isn't bothered or surprised when Savage essentially calls it out. It's comforting, the suggestion that maybe it isn't him. Maybe he isn't defective in some way that renders him unworthy of companionship. And loyalty hadn't been an issue. He inwardly sighs before admitting: ] Logically, I know it's unlikely any of them chose to leave. I don't think most of us get any choice in the matter here, we're subject to the whims of the Pthumerians. Our suffering is probably entertainment.

[ And loneliness has a way of warping thoughts, particularly in a place where such emotions directly contribute to Corruption and Beasthood. He's been through it before, he knows the dangers and takes the relevant precautions when he can. Living alone in relative isolation is perhaps not ideal, in Trench, but it is what it is. It's good his work at the tavern requires interaction with patrons, helps stave off Corruption. ]

I did have the distinct impression he was vetting me. Asking about my species and fighting ability. [ The latter is undoubtedly relevant in Zabrak mate selection, he thinks. Or maybe Maul's in search of more sparring partners or students. ] He wants to meet me in person. I didn't unknowingly agree to some kind of mating ritual, did I? [ The irony of asking this while feeling up Savage's horns is not lost on him, but it doesn't make him stop; when it comes to physical affection, giving and receiving are both enjoyable to him. And who knows when he'll ever have this opportunity again? ] I have to admit it was nice not being dismissed outright because of what I am. [ Even if an android probably isn't most people's idea of a suitable mate, the lack of bigotry was definitely refreshing. ]

Gift Delivery - December 25th

[lightthedarkness]

[Delivered to Savage's door will be a handmade lightsaber necklace, a vest to his size, and baker bought sausage wreath. Attached is a note:]

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS, SAVAGE-KUN!

I know you don't like sweets so I got you a meat wreath! The vest is your size!

Love you,
Usagi

Gift delivery from K

[obeir]

[ Delivered to Savage and Maul's home is a festively wrapped package addressed to Savage, which contains: a very Trenchian style tailcoat and brocade waistcoat, with matching dress shirt and trousers, all tailored to fit him. His sparse wardrobe has been noticed and this is K's attempt to provide him with more options, even if he may not necessarily want them. Can't hurt to try.

It comes with a signed note from K wishing him a pleasant winter. ]

Action; Gift Delivery - December 25th

[survivalthroughhate]

[This year, Maul had decided to behave himself when it came to giving gifts, unlike in years past where he broke into people's houses rather like Santa himself did. All gifts are left on the porch or front step of the recipient's home for them to find in the morning. It took all night, even with Venge helping to deliver them as well, so by the time he got home an hour before done he was tired.

He left Savage's gift, a large bag of gold coins he'd acquired from Paimon, right where he'd wake up and see it first thing. He also included a sketch of his brother that he'd worked on hard to get just right. There was a short note attached to the bag. 'Merry Christmas, my brother. I wish there was more I could do to show my love for you but this will have to do.' Then he curled up next to his brother and fell fast asleep.]

text - UN: IceCream

[threelayers]

Long time no talk.

So.

You kill Maul yet? I'm totally betting you kicked his ass for that post, hah.

Action

[survivalthroughhate]

[After Maul had exorcised Sidious from Savage, he'd been worrying like a mother hen with only one chick. He couldn't help it. The trauma of Savage's two deaths had left him with an extremely overprotective streak and he wasn't in any hurry to curb it.

He kept close to Savage like a shadow, making sure he would be alright. It was justifiable given Savage seemed a little weakened after the ordeal. He was lying there curled up next to Savage at the moment, telling him of what had happened at the end when he exorcised Palpatine for good.]

At least I finally did it. I was able to stop fearing him enough to be able to beat him.

[opress]

[After Sidious had been forced from using his body, Savage had needed time to recover from the ordeal. He had suddenly come to an understanding what terrible potential Mother Talzin had given him, what sort of Dark Side techniques existed and could be used by his hand if he could just... reach out and take it. And he had wanted to hurt Sidious like it was the only thing left in his life.

It didn't happen. He hadn't the strength to do more than be assisted home once it was all over. Despite being someone who had suffered so many abuses at the hands of the other Nightkin, the Sith, and the general populous of many planets, he felt raw with what he had suffered.

Maul clucking after his every step no matter where he went was all that probably kept him from wandering into the woods to lay waste to a huge swath of life there. Instead, he settled into letting his brother fuss at him, quieter than usual (if that was even possible) and recovering his strength and maybe some of his fray dignity.

He listened to Maul telling the tale, and on some level, he found it deeply satisfying that his brother had finally taken steps to push back completely against the old Master. He stared at the ceiling above, mismatched hands folded on his bare stomach, and he was nodding along with the beats of the story.]

He wasn't expecting you to mount such opposition. He might have been faintly impressed with it.

[survivalthroughhate]

What he did to you and so many others here finally allowed me to channel Force Lightning during the bout. He wasn’t expecting that at all.

[The main components to channel Force Lightning were anger, control, and a lack of fear. Maul had always possessed the theoretical knowledge to channel the ultimate ability of the Sith. But the crippling terror that came with associating the ability with his master’s frequent punishments had left him unable to psychologically access his true potential. But once Maul had been able to cast aside his fear of Sidious, so went the barriers to accessing Force Lightning.

He held up a hand and pulled off his gloves, letting a few sparks run between his tattooed fingers. Now that he had the ability that always should have been his to possess by right of being a Sith Lord, he wasn’t going to lose it again.

He glanced over at Savage, worry knitting his brow again.]

Are you sure you are feeling alright, brother? Would you like one of your friends to come over? That handsome droid, perhaps?

[It spoke to how much Maul was still fretting over his brother that he’d even suggest company for Savage.]

[opress]

There was so much more he could have taught you, but he never did.

[He didn't flinch at the crackle of electricity from his brother's fingers, but his own twitched. He had been used to create his own Force Lightning, so he knew what it felt like. There were so many parts of the Dark Side that was well beyond the Sisters, the Brothers and Dathomir, but it would eat into a being that leaned too hard into it. The Nightsisters and Nightbrothers had balance in their own way, wielding the Dark Side but never letting the temptation.

There were so many Dark Side secrets. If he thought too hard about it, he could almost recall the information teasing at him, beckoning him to try.

Like Maul, he lifted his flesh hand and examined his fingers. He twitched them and concentrated. There was a brief spark that almost immediately faded as he didn't have to practice to maintain anything like that on his own. Just a taste from a hijacked body.

He turned his head and dropped his hand back to his stomach, humming absently.]

I don't... want company, no. Maybe just a few more days of resting.

[He rolled onto his side, pillowing his head on his arm and sighed from his nose. He closed his eyes as if he was going to try to nap, but he was too tense for that.]

You're certain he's completely gone, yes?

[survivalthroughhate]

He wanted to deliberately handicap me. If I was always weaker than he was, he didn't have to fear me becoming stronger than he was and eventually killing him.

[He was certain Force Lightning wasn't the only secret of the Sith that Sidious hadn't told him about. He hadn't ever wanted his apprentice to be able to stand on his own and become the master. But Maul had finally done it. He'd proven he was stronger and able to beat him.

He watched as Savage focused on his own fingers and wondered if it would be possible for him to teach his brother how to use such an ability now that it was within his grasp. But there would be time for that later, when the memories of being possessed by Sidious weren't so fresh for his little brother.

Maul stroked the area around his horns in a fond and comforting manner when he rolled onto his side, the way he'd done even when the two of them were small kits.]

Completely. His presence is nowhere to be found in Trench. And if he does come back out of the sea, I'll just keep throwing him back in until either he stays put or Mariana grows tired of tossing him up on the shoreline.

[opress]

If the Sith knew more of the Nightkin, they wouldn't be so easily corrupted by the Dark Side. He needed you far more than you needed him, and now you've proven he had a right to fear you.

[There was so much to learn about the Dark Side, far beyond the traditions and lessons of Dathomir. While he wasn't able to remember much of when Maul was taken aside from his mother's rage, he could see why Talzin and Sidious had met up to learn from one another. Now it made sense to him why she would accept such an outsider to their planet, and it angered him greatly how she hadn't fought to keep Maul harder.

He stared at his fingertips rather than at Maul, losing himself in the sensation of fingers stroking the skin around his horn. He flexed and curled his fingers, reminding himself that they were under his control even if he thought he felt a whisper of his brother's master's oily presence sliding along his flesh.

He sighed again from his nose, feeling as tired and hollow as he probably looked. Haunted by the twisted corrupt presence that had been inside of him.

So weak. Always used. Always a puppet to someone.]

What if he comes back more prepared for combating you? I suppose Usagi will step in and remove him, yes?

[survivalthroughhate]

Perhaps in some other universe there's a version of me that rightly killed him when he grew to cause me too much pain.

[If what Ezra had told him was to be believed, there were infinite versions of himself out there in the multiverse. Surely there was a few of them out there who had managed to overcome his own personal boogeyman and slain him as he so richly deserved.

He continued stroking Savage's horns slowly and affectionately. His poor brother didn't look or feel his best in the Force.]

You should eat something to regain your strength.

[He nodded slowly at the mention of Usagi obliterating Sidious. Now there was a satisfying image in his mind's eye.]

While Usagi's help will be well-appreciated, I don't need to leave everything to her if he comes back. I've learned I've always had the strength within me to defeat him. I just needed to know how to access it.

[It wasn't just about revenge and anger. It was also about love and compassion, his bravery and determination to protect those he'd come to care about here in Trench which had finally allowed him to access the power he needed to defeat his old master once and for all.]

[opress]

Some other universe? Are you saying there are multiple versions beyond these few that we've been to?

[He supposed that it made sense, and he allowed himself to be distracted from the notion that there were many versions of himself and his family well beyond this one. Maybe one where Maul stayed. Maybe one where he went with his brother so Maul wouldn't be so alone as a child. Maybe one where Sidious died early and Maul returned to Dathomir. Maybe one where Feral survived.

His eyes half closed as he lost himself in all the versions of his brothers' lives that could have existed in so many places. It was easier to put them in better places than himself, which still felt... lost and damaged from Sidious's presence. His fingers twitched at Maul's comment, and he gave a small shake of his head where it was pillowed on his arm.]

I don't feel like eating, brother.

[He made a noise in his throat acknowledging it to be true that Maul had clearly come up with methods to deal with the old Master should the man return. He slowly reached out his metal hand to set it on his elder brother's side, watching the rise and fall of both with each breath that Maul took. He turned his gaze upon his brother, frowning slightly.]

If... he does come back and he possesses me, I need you to kill us both. I can't... [He trailed off, unable to articulate the corruption that still felt like a stain on the inside of him.]

[survivalthroughhate]

It is a theory some people here have. I do not know if it is the truth.

[Sometimes, it comforted Maul to think of the idea that there were other versions of himself out there who had better lives than he. Other times, it just made him bitter and angry, wondering why he was the version who'd had to suffer through such awful pain during the course of his life.

Maul leaned over and looked into his brother's eyes when he said he didn't feel like eating.]

No food? Are you certain you're alright?

[Be that as it may, Maul still called over the little labor droid who had come in with his three probe droids in the portals several months back. He told the little creature to prepare some meat. If Savage still didn't want it when it was done, Maul would eat it himself. Whether the little droid could perform the task adequately or not remained to be seen, but he went off with a cheerful 'Voooo vvill!']

Savage, I....I can't promise that...

[Maul looked stricken, both at the idea of Savage being possessed again and having to kill his brother. That was one thing this place had never forced him to do no matter how many torments it had thrust upon them. He just couldn't kill his brother. To do so would break something inside of him that might never be repaired again.]

[opress]

I suppose it doesn't matter. We only have one life to live as our own. They aren't us.

[As pleasant as the idea might seem, he expected that it also could be a lot worse. Those versions of them - if they existed at all - could have lived better lives, or they could have lived worse ones. Maybe Maul could have been so much more or him or Feral... or they could have been reduced so much less in their lives. He had lived his life, and he had few regrets with the decisions that he had made so he'd stick with what he knew.

His eyes flicked up when Maul leaned over him, an annoyed frown twisting his lips at his brother's concern over his lack of appetite. He knew it came from a good place, but he was frayed emotionally and mentally and the fretting sometimes just reminded him that he should be better by now.

Instead of answering, he just pressed his face into Maul's chest like a needy kit and kept it buried there while his brother decided to get food anyway. His arm tightened around his brother's waist instead of committing one way or another to the idea of food. He should eat, but he didn't have an appetite.

His hand splayed across Maul's back at the stricken sound of his brother's voice to his request. It was unfair to ask that of Maul; it was unfair to ask it of anyone that cared for him, but if it came down to it, he actually wanted to die than feel that oily presence sliding through his mind, his flesh, corrupting every pleasant memory.]

I'd... do it myself if he would have let me...

[survivalthroughhate]

[He let Savage hold onto him, putting one of his own hands on the back of his little brother's head beneath his horns. The other rubbed his back in a comforting manner. He really had underestimated how such a horrible experience would have affected Savage's mental state. Maul had never been good at healing his own trauma but at least now he had more coping skills than before. Perhaps he could help his brother get through this.]

You won't have to make that decision ever again. I'll stop him before he ever gets close to you ever again.

[Now that he knew how to banish Sidious' spirit back to the ocean, he wouldn't let a repeat of what had happened ever occur again. Sidious would know better than to face his wrathful apprentice and hopefully that meant he would stay put in the sea.]

[opress]

[He wanted, even needed, to believe his brother's assurances, but there was so much doubt. That was one of Sidious' powers, to sow doubt and discord in a logical manner, and he could still hear some of those whispers if he allowed his thoughts to focus on what the experience had been like. It shouldn't affect him like this; he was a warrior, a Nightbrother who had survived childhood, trials, hunts and even becoming a monster from Nightsister magic.

His arms tightened to a nearly bone-crushing degree around Maul, and he butted his head towards the hand against his skin.]

I know you will, brother. You can't... don't ever let his spirit infest you either. I know you're stronger than I am, but he will do everything he can to destroy you from the inside.

[Perhaps what he feared more was his brother falling victim. His brother had a stronger character, and with these new skills, he believe Maul would fight Sidious off. Still, the fear made it easy to shift to anger in defense of his elder brother, if only mentally right now. Hence why he remained clingy.]